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How do the English turn their sausages over on the BBQ or stir their stir-fries without tongs? Do they use a flip and fork? A spoon and a spatula? Shmoke and a pancake?
I’ll tell you this much: whatever they use, they use with great difficulty. Tongs are a godsend.
Being the excellent planner that I am, I brought a pair of tongs with me from Oz (you can of course buy them here at the Australia shop, but I wasn’t to know that at the time). It’s not been until now, living with the locals, that I’ve realised what an extreme pain in the butt it is to cook without them. I have tried all the above alternatives to no avail.
You heard it here first. Tongs, along with Lucas Pawpaw cream, may just be the best import/export opportunity going round …And I just gave the idea away…. shit.
I cannot beat around the bush on this one; I hate WH Smith. It’s a little irrational and somewhat unfounded but I’ll attempt to explain.
The other day I was at the airport and went looking for a specific book in WH Smith. I was in a bit of a hurry so I went to the counter and asked the charming pimply teenager if they had the book in question. His reply – and this is a direct quote – was as follows:
“I don’t know – I don’t know nuffin’ about books”
Accompanied by a look implying I was some kind of weirdo for wanting to buy a book at all.
WHAT?!? You don’t have to know anything about books you moron, just type the name into your little computer and help me out here!
I don’t even know what WH Smith is supposed to be. It’s clearly not a bookstore. Apart from my pleasant experience above, they only sell the most commercial of novels. Is it a news agent? A convenience store? As with books, it doesn’t really do anything well enough to be classified as any of these things. No, I think it’s a “we’ll sell you whatever will make you part with your cash while you wait for your flight/train/bus” store. Mr WH Smith must be turning in his grave, the sneaking money-grabber. Stop being so obvious.
HOLD THE PRESS! In an effort to be a little less partisan, I Wikipedia-ed W H Smith only to find that they did do something pretty cool; they are responsible for the creation of the ISBN book catalogue system. Slightly redeemed.


